Thank you so much in advance for reading our story:
My name is Deb. I am lost and heartbroken to share that my little brother, my buddy, Bill just got diagnosed with State 4 Metastatic Prostate Cancer.
Already overwhelmed, broken down, and in financial crisis from several other health issues in the family, he desperately needs some emotional support, as well as any help you and yours could give him.
Let me briefly explain where we are and how we got here.
First of all, Bill (some call him Billy) has always been the kind of person you want in your life; calm disposition, hard-working, loyal, funny, and generous–would give you the shirt off of his back and ten more from his closet. I don’t think the words “complain” or “give up” have ever been in his vocabulary.
As a child, he was diagnosed with Epilepsy, and through the years he has had way too many grand mal seizures to count, some of which caused head traumas and other body injuries. The high doses of medication and the numerous seizures over so many years have taken a toll on Bill, causing him extreme fatigue and memory loss. But through all this, and for his entire life, he has worked full time and frequently overtime in physically demanding jobs.
In the past couple of years, Bill’s wife had two separate and serious health crises–both of which took her out of work for long periods of time. She needed extra care for each, so Bill took his sick days and vacation days off to be at home for her and the kids. Because of this, they fell extremely behind on all of their regular bills, plus the medical bills grew to a mountainous amount. As soon as he could, Bill was once again taking overtime at his main job and then added a second job at night. He was working at least 12-hour days at two very physical jobs, but he wanted to try to at least put dents in some of those bills.
Then several big money problems hit them while they were already hurting.
His truck died…completely. It would have been more than it was worth to fix it. So they had to get a (very) used car for him to be able to get to work.
The roof on their very old home started leaking and the water heater broke.
Then his wife’s car broke down and needed new brakes.
They were struggling and trying to just stay above water, but after food, gas, and necessities, the money they owed just kept climbing. Bill felt defeated; he has always worked hard and tries to be the best person he can be.
And then, life had one more blow…a major and devastating hit.
Bill was not feeling well at all. He was getting odd pains and other symptoms telling him he needed to get to the doctor.
The first blow was…YOU HAVE PROSTATE CANCER
The second blow was…YOU HAVE STAGE 4 METASTATIC CANCER THAT HAS SPREAD TO YOUR BONES.
Within a few weeks, he went from some pain and urinary issues to now having so much pain that he has trouble standing or walking across the room. He has to wear a full-time catheter, he can no longer drive, and is lucky to get 3 hours of sleep at a time.
Unfortunately, the medical system in his area has truly dropped the ball in many ways: very poor communication, neglecting to check labs and the catheter, making him wait for days to discuss new pain and what he can take that is okay with his epilepsy, and other things. We are in the process of transferring him to UW Madison but that is a process and is putting him in miserable limbo.
Bill is unable to work either job. At one he works on large, heavy machinery on his feet constantly, and the other job requires walking and bending constantly. His pain, fatigue, and medications just won’t allow this, and YET…the medical system is still dragging its feet on filling out the FMLA paperwork.
We have started looking at all options: the different agencies out there to apply for assistance, payment plans, etc. for medicals, but it is all like putting Band-Aids on gushing wounds.
I am humbly asking anyone out there with a giving heart to help me help my brother. He is shutting down a little and terrified at the same time because it is all so extremely overwhelming. We need him to concentrate on healing and strength, not how he can afford groceries or avoid all the collection calls.
If you know Bill, you know he would never ask this himself. It makes him feel weak and not good enough. That is absolutely not the case. I can’t imagine my…or anyone’s lives without this incredible person. He truly, truly is one of the good guys !!!!
Thank you in advance for any help you can find in your heart. And please send positive, encouraging words to my buddy.
With so much appreciation and love,
Deb