As a family we have enjoyed several years of involvement with Trail Life USA and American Heritage Girls. This picture is a Trail Life camping trip to see the Ark Encounter. Amazing!!!
Whether with friends or “just us” we have had hikes, outdoor adventures and multiple camping trips. Short trips to the Florida Gulf coast to visit family and catch some waves!
Homeschool life has been fun! We had our first homeschool graduate after 13 years of learning how to homeschool last May. Paul and I met through connections in the Baptist seminary circles – and I got what I was looking for! A Baptist man who loves God’s word. And he found treasure in a young lady ready to have a family.
21 years, 5 kids, 6 moves, 2 states later- we reside in the Upstate of South Carolina. 2 crazy dogs, the best egg laying chickens, and a canary are part of our family too.
We are asking for help to support our son. He is known for his sarcastic humor, his thoughtful questions and his interest in outdoor skills and relaxing playing golf. He has been a good friend to many and is well-liked in youth group and our Trail Life troop.
All of that started to change about a year and a half ago. He started dropping life long friendships. He became defiant and defensive. He engaged in self-destructive behavior and substance abuse. We pursued out patient therapy. He developed suicidal ideations and more dangerous behaviors. We admitted him to acute -care inpatient therapy after some explosive outbursts and again after what appeared to be major depressive disorder. Finally, we found a Christ-centered residential therapeutic treatment center. Capstone Wellness in Arkansas. We had high hopes he would be able to calm down, accept help, and share what his deep hurt might be. The therapists and directors were patient. They redirected, gave appropriate consequences, sought how to understand, and gave every opportunity for our son to thrive. However, over 6 weeks in Aug/Sept. he was not able to work with behavior management techniques in order to engage in therapeutic settings. He was not ready to “press the bar” of the deeper introspection required of this program.
We believe he is exhibiting emotional reactions and process addictions due to trauma. Whether this is self-inflicted shame and guilt over things he has been involved with or if there is an external source- there is trauma. We are not aware of what the trauma might be. But hope to understand as time and therapy continue.
He was removed on Monday Sept 15 from residential treatment. He had been repeatedly aggressive and unsafe.We had to make quick decisions for continued care. We chose to enroll him at Star Guides in Utah. It is a wilderness program designed to unearth the process addictions ( substance abuse, relational manipulation, and screen dependency are examples) , interrupt the developmental vacation (kid gets stuck in mind and stops maturing in how to handle the realities of life and choices and consequences in life), and then proceed with therapy and guidance towards healing, self-management, and owning one’s choices.
He is making progress in self-awareness and readiness for therapy. He has become a leader on hikes and knowledgeable about outdoor living. He has many needs regarding inter-personal development and self-control. He has been able to set goals that show he does want to change.
Part of the restoration with Star Guides includes therapy and guidance for us as parents. It will be intensive and formative for us to restructure in a way that welcomes our son when it is time for him to re-enter family life.
We miss who he used to be. Little glimmers would show through during this summer, but the dark storm cloud of anger or the withdrawal of depression was more often what we saw. We do want him to be able to return home. We are doing all we can to help him even when he does not appreciate or want to engage. He has started to converse with us through letters. We are hopeful he can hear our heart in our replies, and see that we love him and want to know him and guide him through young adulthood.
We have sought scholarships, foundations, and other avenues of resources. Star Guides, where our son is a current nomad, has allowed us a significant discount. We have not found another organization that will help fund this phase of treatment. That is why we are raising awareness and asking for help from extended acquaintances and sources. Please share our story in the hope that 1. It encourages others to reach out for help for similar situations. 2. We can be connected with organizations that have access to donors for teen health and well-being.
Our cost is $400/day. Paid in 30-day increments. We received generous private donations and were able to pay the first $12,000 after only 4 days of raising awareness with friends and family. We do not want to wear out our welcome with them! Will you join us in this endeavor to restore our son to right relationship with God, family, and friends?
Our next deadline is November 15. We thankfully received a private donation to cover expenses for October. We are seeking to raise $12,000 for the life of our son.Please share our need. But don’t just click “share”. How can you contribute to the LIFE of our son?
We are happy to answer questions or give character references, or church leadership connections if needed. You can contact Stephenie (864)438-6170 or Paul (864)580-3218.
We have only sought out this platform to allow donors to help who need a tax-deductible option. If that is not your need and you want to avoid the 2.9% credit card fee through Stripe- feel free to find our Venmo or message us for Zelle.